May

Miles turned three months old this month. He is such a happy baby and we are so blessed. He has discovered his hands and loves playing with his fingers. “Whoa! They move! This is cool!”

He laughed out loud for the first time this month—May 20th to be exact! I remember thinking that I must be hearing things but sure enough, I bounced him and he did it again. He loves to be bounced and that’s when we get the best laughs out of him. Disclaimer: This video was taken on our phone and does not have the best picture quality, but you can sure hear him giggle!


We had family pictures taken by a professional photographer in our ward. Her gift to us when Miles was born was a photo shoot. OH MY!!! We got some wonderful pictures. Here is just a very SMALL sampling. Thank you Diane!

Mother's Day

I celebrated my first Mother's Day as a mother this year. What a joyous day that I have waited for for so long. I turned 30 a few days before. It's interesting to think that by the time I was 30, I wanted to be done having my family. Instead I just started. My topic was on what I have learned so far about being a mother. It was a challenge, but I made it through (tearfully) and feel like I did a pretty good job. Here is my talk:

I have learned that good things come to those who wait. As most of you know, our journey to parenthood has been a long and trying one. We will be celebrating our 7th anniversary in June. Five and a half of those years were spent in mighty prayer, supplication, heartbreak, tears, tests and all the other emotions that come from infertility. I have learned that although our Heavenly Father loves us, he loves us enough to not give us what we want exactly when we want it. In the end, it always turns out to be a blessing because He knows the end from the beginning. I am a better mother because of the journey that brought us to this point.

One of my favorite quotes from C. S. Lewis illustrates this beautifully: "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house than the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace"

Through this “remodeling” experience, I have now learned something else: I learned that I rejoice in motherhood and will do everything in my power to be a full time mommy and be able to be home with my children. President Hinckley has said “Women for the most part see their greatest fulfillment, their greatest happiness in home and family. God planted within women something divine that expresses itself in quiet strength, in refinement, in peace, in goodness, in virtue, in truth, in love. And all of these remarkable qualities find their truest and most satisfying expression in motherhood.” I now know this to be true. Growing up and even after Aaron and I got married, I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I just wasn’t for me. I was too social of a person. I needed my “me” time. I needed the recognition that comes from a “job well done” in the work place.

In her book, I am a Mother, Jane Clayson, a former national television news anchor, talks about a banquet she went to with mostly LDS couples. As everyone introduced themselves, she noticed a trend among the women. They were “just mothers.” She states that she heard some variation of the phrase "I'm just a mother" repeated, almost apologetically, over and over again. I never wanted to be “just a mom.” Well, now I would give anything to be able to be with my little Miles all the time.

God's definition of motherhood and the world's definition are vastly different. And sometimes—probably all too often—the challenges, daily physical and emotional exhaustion, and occasional self-doubt that come along with being a mother cause many of us to buy into an inaccurate and destructive understanding of our role. There just doesn't seem to be a lot of joy—or fulfillment—associated with the world's interpretation of motherhood.

But when we trust in the arm of the Lord rather than the voices of the world, everything changes. Elder Neal A. Maxwell observed, "When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?"

Sherri Dew stated: “No woman who understands the gospel would ever think that any other work is more important or would ever say, "I am just a mother," for mothers heal the souls of men.”

Circumstances being what they are, I’m not able to be “just a mom” at this time but we are working towards that. And, thankfully, we were able to work it out so that Miles in always with his mommy or his daddy while the other one is at work. Heavenly Father knows our hearts and he will help us to achieve our goals and the worthy desires of those hearts. I’ve learned that as well.

I have learned that Heavenly Father guides us continually in our parenting journey if we listen. As a new mom, I expected to be so overwhelmed and feel lost a lot, especially since I could no longer dictate my own schedule. Surprisingly, I don’t feel out of sorts at all. I have been rather calm. When I have a concern or question I receive guidance from good friends and from the spirit. Nothing has been too little for that guidance to come. Shortly after Miles was born, he had a really hard time sleeping at night. I was doing everything all the “books” say to do and it still wasn’t helping. He would usually only sleep for an hour and a half at a time and cry a lot. As I was rocking him early one morning, the thought came that maybe he was too warm. So, I quit bundling him quite so much and he started sleeping better. Such a little, seemingly inconsequential thought to a tired mom. I didn’t even realize it was inspiration until a few days later as I started thinking about it. Heavenly Father sent us these children and He is there to help us rear them in righteousness. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland explained it perfectly: "You are doing God's work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you, and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master's garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and weep over their responsibility as mothers, 'Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.' And it will make your children whole as well". May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do.”

I have learned that being a mother is the greatest privilege in the world. Our baby is a gift from our Heavenly Father. He was with Him such a short time ago and we feel that every time we are with him. President Packer has called women, by nature, co-creators with God. Giving birth to Miles was one of the most spiritual experiences in our life. I have never felt the spirit more strongly then I did as he took his first breath. I could feel his spirit rejoicing as he joined our family. I finally understand how our Father in Heaven can love us so unconditionally because I too now feel that unconditional love. I never thought I could love my husband more than I did, but the moment he held little Miles, my love grew exponentially. He helped me create this miracle. He is going to be an example of the priesthood to our little boy and I hope that Miles grows up to be just like his daddy because his daddy is the most amazing man I have ever met.

My heavenly Father has blessed me so much and I am so grateful to Him for my amazing husband and my beautiful baby. I am so grateful that our Heavenly Father created a plan where we can be with our families forever. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us and wants what is best for us. He does hear and answer our prayers. He sent his son, even Jesus Christ, to suffer and die to make it possible for us to live with our families again forever. I am so grateful to be a mother and for the trust that my Heavenly Father has placed in me and Aaron as he sent Miles into our home. I know that all of us can be successful parents if we lean on the Lord and follow the teachings of the gospel.

Miles's Baby Blessing

We blessed Baby Miles on May 2, 2010. My parents and Aaron's parents wer able to come from Utah and my brothers and their families, who also live in Colorado, came down to spend the weekend with us as well. What an incredible experience it was to be surrounded by family and to give our little miracle a name and a blessing through the preisthood. Aaron did an amazing job and we were both choked up throughout the meeting. I don't see Aaron cry very often and it was so tender to watch him gaze at our little guy with tears streaming down his face.

Here are some pictures we took after the event: (Didn't get any of my family--sorry Johnsons!!)

Proud Conner Grandparents


My mom made this blessing outfit. Isn't she amazing?





3 Generations of Conner Men